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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

don't expect better

by for anne

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1.
manners 01:58
you want to put my manners to a test take me on a date take me to a show stay out with me real late   manners? you think i’ve got manners? maybe i’d enjoy a show yea i like to stay out late but why in fucking hell would you want to take me on a date?   manners? you think i’ve got manners? now we’re at the top of the stairs the last trains coming soon time for a weird goodbye or should i kiss you?   courage you think i’ve got courage? to trust your good intentions to think i mean something to you to hope that you won’t hurt me to see you again real soon?   forgiveness? you think i can forgive myself? for falling way to quickly for thinking your words were true for letting you hurt and use me for falling in love with you manners? you think i've got manners?
2.
my thoughts reflect off you like light on a broken mirror most of it gets lost in the cracks i feel like I’m gonna disappear feeling broken and empty at the lowly age of 22 all i can think about is you and the cracks you engraved in my heart cause every time i want something it’s fleeting it slips away how can i find a way to feel much better than i do everyday now you’re just a memory and i'm forgotten by you it’s been more than a year since that faithful day you told me we were through and I hate being ignored i'm feeling worthless and shitty pathetically sitting in the dark reminiscing on all my bad luck feeling broken and empty at the lowly age of 22 all i can think about is you and the cracks you engraved in my heart cause every time i want something it’s fleeting it slips away how can i find a way to feel much better than i do everyday   feeling broken and empty at the lonely age of 22 all i can think about is you and the cracks you engraved in my heart i’m just trying not to fall apart
3.
curtains 01:48
i’m trying to wait it out i’m trying to wait it out but i don’t have the confidence and i don’t want to regret being honest is such a burden it’s like drawing up the curtains so my body is drenched in light and i’m visible, a crystal clear sight but I’m trying to do it my instincts are piercing through the words i don’t say i guess i should try i guess i should go on the path that i know i should take just give me a break just give me a break
4.
remember that night when we kissed and you left on the train you told me not to worry but i knew something was about to change i could feel it in the chill of the winter air as it brushed across my face that nothing this good could ever last for me and my mind began to race the days got longer and i remember the day that you told me you needed space i guess the 100 miles that separated us they weren’t good enough for u it wasn’t good enough for u and it’s pretty fucking clear i wasn't good enough for you and there was no hope in us and if there was it was ripped away by you it was ripped away by you and as the nights got colder, i felt myself slipping away i'm telling you nothing good lasts for more than a single second i'm starting to think that those rare moments of happiness were pretend  i'm sitting outside at 3am chain smoking cigarettes this last year has been as fucked up as ever the saddest part is that i don't expect better
5.
no i can't tell you  when i see you  i turn away  try and act cool  put on a front that i'm tough take a puff  of my cigarette  i'm insecure  hope you can't tell i kind of like you i don't want to know if you like me too i'm such a liar  yes, i do i see you walking on campus pretend i don't see you you smile and say hi i try not to act like a fool  smile awkwardly back at you am i too weird for you cause i can't tell i can't tell you you're hot  what if you think i'm not i'm just lame and shy  don't ask why but i hate falling for guys  i need to grow a pair now i'm twirling my hair take a swig of my flask  vodka is lame i have no game i think i really dig you hope i see you again soon so i can turn my head to the ground and pretend i'm cool i want to know if you like me too

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released June 8, 2017

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for anne Albany, New York

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